4 Ways a River Guide is Guaranteed to Make You Laugh
The Practical Joke:
Rubber frog in the salad—why not? Whoopee cushion under your sleeping pad? You bet. I once knew a guide that would bury the better part of an extension cord, female side out, near the appetizer table just to see if anyone would attempt to use it. That joker was bested only by the guest that pulled out a hair dryer on a 6-day wilderness expedition, for the express purpose of seeing the guides’ faces when he innocently asked where he could find an outlet. For jokes of this sort, it helps to plan in advance. A few props combined with a little creativity can make for some pretty amusing moments.
If you ever hear a story beginning with a line that even slightly resembles, “No kidding, there I was…,” quickly swallow whatever beverage is in your mouth to avoid it being ejected out of your nose during a spontaneous fit of laughter. Anecdotes are the bread and butter of entertainment on the river. Everyone has a story, and if you don’t yet, well, just give it time. I’ve never met a guide or a guest that’s ended a trip without at least one.
There’s something about being in the outdoors that inspires this kind of behavior. Perhaps it’s the carefree feel of living on “river time,” perhaps it’s all that fresh air. Whatever it is, it’s contagious. It’s possible you’ll be invited to wear a costume, yodel for your supper, or join in a hula hooping contest. Though your own participation may seem unlikely now, I can bet you’ll not only take part, but do so with a genuine grin on your face.
The Classic Joke:
How many river guides does it take to screw in a light bulb? With so many hilarious answers to this question, it’s tough to tell. The supply of good old fashioned knee slappers on a trip is seemingly inexhaustible. Prepare yourself to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly. To play along, here’s a suggestion: stock your cache of humor with any joke that starts with, “What’s the difference between…” or “What do you call…” Then, throw in a couple of “Little Johnny” or “Why did the chicken” jokes, just to round things out.
As mentioned before, your guides want you to have fun. So, bring your one-liners, bring your stories. Allow your heart to lighten and those smile lines to show as you tell a few tales, play a few games, share a few jokes, and revel in what just might be, some of the best laughs of your life.