Of course, women like me want to know what people mean when they refer to “a woman like me.” I know what I see and think when I look in the mirror. But other people’s perceptions are often a mixed bag. And his response was no exception.

“You know,” he said, “middle aged (gee, thanks), successful (not sure about that one), single (a fact) and attractive (wow, thanks!).”

His remarks immediately reminded me of the answer to his original question. There’s a reason why vacations are called “getaways.” We want to get away from reality—not just the chores and responsibilities of everyday life, but from the person that people expect us to be (for good or for bad)… including the person we expect ourselves to be.

Personally, I jump at every opportunity to leave my day-to-day persona behind. On a river trip, I leave it ALL behind: my trusty but ever-present iPhone, the inane Facebook posts I addictively check several times a day, workplace stress and a social life that sometimes has a drama of its own.

On the river I’m uncharacteristically low key, low maintenance, a bit unkempt and most importantly sans make-up. I don’t give a hoot about what I look like, how many days I’ve been wearing the same sweatshirt, the last time I used a razor or how many nails I’ve chipped. I’m so anti-Tricia, I’m not even sure if my coworkers would recognize me. (Thank you O.A.R.S. for not providing mirrors on the trip. So many other amenities, but not mirrors. But, I do have one confession: that “ChapStick” I keep in my duffle bag is really an $18 tube of Buxom Lip Plumper. A girl can only give up so much.)

So when friends ask to see pictures of my river trips, I usually say something casual like, “I wouldn’t want to bore you.” When I’m actually thinking, “There’s no way in hell will I let you see me like that.”

But that’s the beauty of the outdoors! I don’t go on a rafting vacation for the photos. I go for the complete and utter change of scenery, lifestyle, state of mind and the ever-elusive opportunity to not have to make decisions. I don’t have to think about what to wear, what’s for dinner, or who will be insulted if…

A woman like me spends a week on a river because, frankly, it’s hard to be me sometimes. And for a few days I get to trade in my mirror for the beauty of some magnificent outdoor setting, let the amazing river guides take care of me, and immerse myself in the bliss of carefree anonymity. And as I sit back and reflect on life, I try very hard to ignore the reflection smiling back at me on the water.

Related Articles:

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Put a Cork In It

5 Things You Probably Don’t Know About a Rafting Trip

The post Leaving Behind the (Wo)Man in the Mirror appeared first on River Currents.

1. River guides are no joke. Seriously.

Before my first O.A.R.S. trip, I had a pretty vivid picture in my mind of what our guide would be like: Someone college-aged in board shorts and a floppy hat who took his shirt off too often and said “dude” too much. Someone whose overpowering young, outdoorsy hipness would shine a big, fat spotlight on my age and ineptitude.

But I was wrong.

River guides are hard-working, talented, well-educated professionals. I recently had a guide who enthralled us for hours (yes, hours…enthralled!) with the history, geology and biology of the river. His subtle sense of humor that made things like “Morgan Formations” and “Merganser Ducks” seem like stand-up comedy. Plus he made a mean breakfast frittata.

2. A boatload.

The engineering feat that goes into packing a week’s supplies for 20+ people in a boat is absolutely mind-boggling. All the essentials, including drinking water, life vests, food (beer!), comforts like tents, Paco Pads, chairs and three square (and delicious!) meals per person per day gets stored in the bottom of a river raft . On our 5 day/4 night trip that meant 375 meals in total.

You’ll be glad it’s all there. And glad you’re not one of the guides who’s packing it all in! So pack light. You can practically live in a bathing suit and a pair of sweats. Really.

3. Stranger danger.

I was more than a bit apprehensive about hanging with two dozen strangers for five days. But the sense of community and camaraderie with my fellow travelers became one of the highlights of my experience. Even my kids would tell you that what they remember most was the evenings around the campfires telling stories and playing games.

O.A.R.S. knows that this group bonding is an essential part of the trip, which is why they have trip-specific websites for participants to share photos and stories and keep in touch when it’s over. (Speaking of…Hi Tom and all the boys from Minnesota!)

4. It’s polite to stare.

On my trip, I sat and stared for hours on end—at the majestic canyons of the Yampa River, at the clouds, at the ripples of water moving ever-toward the shore, at the tops of my feet as they skimmed the river currents…and more frequently than I would like to admit, at the inside of my eyelids.

It was a much-needed mental break from everyday life letting my eyes glaze over and fixate on the tranquil beauty all around me.

5. Taking care of business

Everyone wants to know. But nobody actually wants to ask. I mean, you can’t hold it the entire time (especially with that ever-present sound of rushing water).

So here’s the dealio: It’s part of O.A.R.S.’ commitment to leave no trace in the delicate environments we travel in. So, while guides provide completely private privies, you must learn to pee and poo in two different locations—both of them outside.

Basically, liquids go in the river, while solids are along for the ride (see # 2 above, but try not to think too much about it). Without TMI (for your sake and mine!), I CAN tell you that the views from the commode are so outstanding that they almost take your mind off the task at hand.

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The post 5 Things You Probably Don’t Know About a River Trip appeared first on River Currents.

Maybe you do the same.

Not all the time, of course. But when the challenges of everyday life bottleneck with complaining teens, I often uncork the nearest bottle (OK, who am I kidding—there’s always an uncorked bottle in my house!) and pour myself a glass of instant stress relief.

So when a friend invited me on a wine tasting and gourmet  river trip, I jumped at the chance. (“Duh. Like…TOTALLY!” was my actual response. I obviously need a getaway from teenagers.)

The grapes of wrath

I’ll be the first to admit that wine is my passion, my profession, my hobby and—sometimes—my best friend. Sharing a great bottle of Sauvignon Blanc with friends is one of my favorite pastimes. Sipping a glass of Syrah with dinner is my reward for a hectic day. And on my last whitewater rafting trip I left my bestie at home.

You see, last summer, I declared our rafting trip down the Yampa and Green rivers in Utah a “screen free” adventure—no computers, iPads, Gameboys or cell phones. For two ever-connected teens, it was a hard sell. But I was adamant that we have quality “together time.”

The whining began immediately.

Still, my kids are no dummies and mastered the art of negotiation early. If they were going to give up their vices, I had to give up mine.

And so we spent 5 days and 4 nights without the things we loved (aside from each other, of course). And let me tell you—though it ended up better than I ever could’ve imagined—after a couple hours on a river with two grumpy teens resentful for the forced family time, I’ve never wanted a glass of wine more.

Getting in the flow: Wine tasting on the river trips

This time, though, I’m doing it my way.

The kids are staying home, and I’m spending a week with girlfriends, a top-notch chef and vintners from some of the best wineries in the Sierra Foothill appellation.

O.A.R.S. wine tasting on the river trips combine wet and wild days on a majestic river followed by the equally majestic combination of gourmet 5-course meals paired with delicious local wines.

Watching a master chef prepare an incredible meal from the back of a river raft will be a sight to behold. Conversing with a winemaker about the nuances in the wine, the story behind his or her winery and the terroir of his vineyards sounds like a perfect getaway.

I can’t wait to be amazed by the vistas on California’s Wild & Scenic Tuolumne River, pampered by the guides, indulged by the chef and wowed by the winemaker. And as I sit staring at the sunset and luxuriously languishing with a glass of wine in hand, I’m sure I’ll miss my kids….sort of. In the whine-less solitude of the river, I’ll think of my son in his well-worn spot in front of his PC and my daughter with her iPad glued in her hands and know they’ll barely notice that I’m gone.

Related Articles:

The Year of Culinary Travel?

Winemaker Matt Hatcher Talks Wine on the River

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The post Put a Cork In It appeared first on River Currents.

Mom: “It’s a beautiful day! Why don’t you ever play outside?”

Teenage son: “Outside? We don’t have that game.”

Mission: Family rafting trip

Target: Engage a surly 16-year-old gamer

Weapons: Hope, humor, and a healthy dose of the great outdoors

Difficulty: Extreme

Level 1

I’ve spent the better part of the last decade speaking to the back of my son’s head.

Like many teenagers today, Colden is a gamer. He got his first GameBoy at age 6 and has been increasingly sucked into the virtual worlds that he now prefers to the real one.

Our “conversations” often involve me yelling loud enough to penetrate his earphones. I even leave meals on top of his keyboard so he’ll remember to eat.

It’s not a lifestyle that I would have chosen for my son. But at some point I decided to stop fighting it and accept that video games are what define him.

Still, as Colden’s 16th birthday approached, I realized my gamer boy was well on his way to manhood and would soon be out the door. As Colden had lost interest in the outside world over the past few years, I was truly desperate to reconnect with him in a meaningful way.

We had been on a one-day O.A.R.S. trip several years prior and I hoped that another O.A.R.S trip would give Colden a look outside his gaming world, where the adrenaline is real and joy can be found in contributing to the group effort.

Level 2

The negotiation started early. I knew that a five-day rafting trip with no computers and no Internet was going to be a hard sell. But I was prepared.

I started using phrases like “family vacation,” “together time,” and “road trip,” to which most teenagers just roll their eyes. Colden may have done just that. But I’ll never know because I rarely see his face.

Colden dodged these word bombs as skillfully as his zombie-killing alter egos until I mentioned “camping,” “rafting” and “rivers.” Perhaps it was then that he realized that The Great Outdoors was not some lame game that I wanted to buy him, but an in-the-flesh interactive adventure … in nature; with me and his sister.

He looked at me out of the corner of his eye and declared, “I won’t be going.” Teenagers can be such jerks.

Level 3

I switched tactics. Persuasion led to pleading. (“We haven’t spent much quality time together and you and your sister are going to be off to college in just a couple more years!”), which led to bribing (“Just say you’ll go and I’ll never ask you to go on another family vacation again”) and finally good old parental strong arming. (Get in the car, NOW!)

Level 4

We left right after school let out for Colorado for our Yampa/Green River adventure. The two-day car ride was uneventful, almost fun.

The first morning after we arrived Colden was amenable; pleasant even. He watched with interest as the team of guides loaded the rafts with an almost military-like precision. He waited until his sister and I chose a raft (and, of course, then chose another).

Within minutes of starting down the river we spotted a majestic Bald Eagle. Colden smiled. And I let out a sigh of relief. Perhaps I’d get a glimpse of the little boy still hiding out in the young man he was becoming.

Level 5

Colden was an enthusiastic participant the entire day. He even helped himself to three servings of the incredibly delicious fresh salmon we had for dinner that night. I declared myself “Mom of the Year.”

My title was short lived.

The next morning we woke up to a glorious view outside our tent and to the sound of the morning “Coooffffeeeee!” revelry. Colden’s mood had grown dark overnight. Surly even.

After an amazing breakfast of pancakes and bacon, the boats were loaded and ready to take off. Colden stood on the banks of the river, arms crossed, staring down at the 24 other guests, and refused to get on a boat.

I was mortified, but decided to ignore his ornery ways and let the group dynamic take over. With a lot of good-natured prompting from our guides and the other guests, Colden began to see the folly of staying behind.

Level 6

Colden continued to be grumpy for the next few days. The other teenagers on the trip attempted to engage him, as did our guides. They were mostly met with the monosyllabic grunts that make up the unique language of a teenage boy. I was annoyed, but thankful for the help, and glad that this “language” was not only reserved for me.

Then, on day four, all six rafts and both duckies started a water fight. Our guides called it “one of the most epic water fights” they had ever witnessed.

Colden stood at the helm of his raft, water cannon in hand looking very much like one of his video game characters. His main target? Me, of course.

And he smiled. A lot. Maybe even let out a laugh or two.

That night, the guides brought out a lighted bocce ball set. Colden jumped at the chance to participate.

More smiling and more laughing.

Level 7

On the final day, a dear guide named Ben said to Colden, “You know, outside isn’t for everyone.”

“It sure ain’t for me,” Colden grunted.

I hadn’t expected our trip to change who Colden is, but I did hope that it might ever-so-slightly change how he sees himself and his place in the real world; and that one day, maybe – just maybe – he will remember the trip “mom made me go on” and smile. “In theory, I shouldn’t have had a good time,” Colden said, gazing at the ground when we got home. “But I kinda did.”

Good enough for me.

Mission Accomplished.

The post Gamer Kid Rafting Trip appeared first on River Currents.

Life happens. Families change. And regardless of the circumstances, we continue to do whatever it takes to care for our children in the best way we know how. But it’s rarely smooth sailing. 

When you’re trying to be everything to everybody—mom, dad, breadwinner, domestic goddess—you often have to let some things go. In our family (aside from a clean house), that thing was our yearly camping trip.

Until recently, I can’t say that I regretted it much. Sure, I missed that magical moment when the world seems to stand still in some spectacularly scenic location. But let’s be honest: camping with kids is a lot of work.

It’s hard enough for two parents to manage the weeks of preparation, activity planning, and care and feeding of children who don’t understand why we must brush our teeth at a spigot 100 yards from our tent. It’s impractical—bordering on unbearable—to do all of that solo.

Tent-building alone is solidly a two-person job. And while there are technically other persons in my family—Brontë, 17, and son Colden, 16—I won’t be the first person to admit that teenagers don’t always qualify as particularly helpful.

So when I consider taking a vacation these days, it’s usually a break from the single mom lifestyle that I crave most of all. Give me a day at the spa to unwind. Let me take the kids to the amusement park and we’ll call it a getaway. But camping? No thank you. It no longer seemed to offer the respite I needed.

Still, I knew in my heart that Six Flags didn’t offer the kind of quality time I wanted with my teenagers. I longed for the outdoor, sleep under the stars/reconnect with the kids/“get off the computer and back to basics” wilderness experience we had had every summer before our family of four became a family of three.

Brontë and Colden would be grown and out of the house soon and time for family vacations was beginning to run short.

So I started joking to my friends, “I will pay you to take us camping.” I was actually half-serious, but never had any takers.

Then, last summer, a friend who had just returned from an O.A.R.S. trip suggested that it might be just the thing I was looking for—an outdoor vacation in which all I had to do, essentially, was just show up.

After scrolling through the amazing photos and personal stories on the O.A.R.S. website, I found out that their camping/rafting trips were perfect for partner-less parents. Their professional guides would take care of everything from the tents and sleeping bags to the food and beverages and even games! They even provide a little luxury item called a Paco Pad, which makes sleeping in a tent a more pleasurable experience.

It seemed too good to be true. I booked a trip immediately.

A few months later, I packed up our clothes and toothbrushes and headed to Colorado for a five-day/four-night trip on the incredibly scenic Yampa and Green Rivers.

Pretty soon I found myself in the single parenthood boat again, but this time I had company.

Turns out there were three other single parents on our trip—all with teenagers. The community we created over the course of our trip was almost familial.

On the first night, another single mom offered to help me with the tent. On the second day, a single dad offered to hang out with my kids so I could enjoy a child-free day on the river. By that night, the four of us had started an impromptu single parent support group.

Not only was I well taken care of by the guides and well supported by my fellow travelers, but Brontë and Colden were too. The other teens and the O.A.R.S. guides—who are not only the best river guides around, but also play chef, teacher, Sherpa, housekeeper, activities director and stand-up comedian—provided constant entertainment for my easily bored brood.

On top of it all, I did not cook one meal, start one fire, clean one pan or set one table for five whole days.

Aside from the five minutes it took to put up and take down our family’s tents, all I had to do was be there—to watch my daughter geek out over all the local wildlife on her critter checklist and see how the sunlight looks on my “never comes out of his bedroom” son. Heck, I didn’t even have to paddle the boat if I didn’t feel like it. Most often, I did not.

After years of keeping our family afloat by myself, it was an amazing gift to just sit back and let someone else do the work.

Our O.A.R.S. trip ended up being both the outdoor family experience I had hoped for and it was exactly the respite I needed. Being a single mom is not always easy, but an O.A.R.S. river trip always is.

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